Some three years ago I wrote about my journey of discovery into integrating giftedness into my life in Dutch. Opening my kimono so wide was pretty scary but worth it: I received a wealth of beautiful reactions. It helped a lot of people to identify things within themselves that were previously a mystery to them. The feeling of recognition many people mentioned was a definite indicator of how isolated a lot of gifted people still feel. The time has come to translate my giftedness autobiography into English. Being gifted is so much more than just having a good set of brains. It is a way of being that permeates your life down to the very core and thus to be taken seriously. For me it’s clear that there is still a world to be won around giftedness. Something I hope to contribute to with my work and writings.
highly gifted
Me smiling despite itchy turtleneck 😉
It didn’t completely arise out of nowhere. My mother followed so-called HBS-B secondary education during and immediately after the war, which was not exactly standard for a girl at that time. It also wasn’t standard for the family she came from so that going to university was not an option for her. My father successfully completed Electrical Engineering Polytechnic despite suffering from PTSD as a result of WWII and very severe dyslexia. After which he would never touch a book again. Not so in my case.
As a small child I was especially full of life, eager to learn and sensitive. I absorbed the information from my environment, as it were, processed it and forgot almost nothing. Learning came naturally. My sensitivity meant that I could be quickly and deeply affected by people and events. What others could easily shake off could really unnerve me. Even something as simple as a clothing label could irritate me so much that I couldn't proceed until it was cut out. My sensitivity made me dependent on my environment to feel safe and well. And that in turn was the prerequisite for learning, creating and performing. A delicate and fragile position to be in. Fortunately, I found a supportive environment at my primary school.
Primary Education
In retrospect, it was a great gift that I ended up at CNS Jason in Eindhoven. A small school with very civilized, morally upstanding and knowledgeable teachers. Simply put, very decent people with an eye for children and their hearts in the right place. One teacher stood out for me, Nic Goederond. He brought his own unique didactic creativity into the school and, for example, let us listen to Pink Floyd's album Ummagumma. And then let us paint the images we conjured up in our minds. Awesome.
As a dreamy type, I had no shortage of those images. However it did require more skill than I had at the time to transfer what my mind's eye saw so clearly, onto paper. I could (and still can) conceive much more than I could realize. That caused me a lot of frustration. Patience was not my strong suit. When I had something clear in mind and couldn't translate it perfectly straight away or when it would take a long time, I often left it at that. This also did not really help me with my piano lessons, although the talent for playing was certainly there.
It was very fortunate I was given the opportunity at school to follow my own interests. When I finished the required work in class I was allowed to go to the school’s documentation center: a kind of paper cross-over between Google and Wikipedia. That motivated me enormously. All I had to do was complete my tasks as quickly as possible and that suited me really well. The fact that I was offered that opportunity was fantastic. On the one hand I fully belonged to the class, on the other hand I could remain true to my individual needs. I could follow my own interests in what felt like my own environment. Books were a rich source of information to me. I have always been a very fast reader and could usually immediately see on a page where the interesting information would be. It must have been something in the way texts were built up.
My school results were very good without any real effort on my part. My parents went to talk about this at school, asking "Do we have to do anything about this?" The only thing I noticed from their visit was that afterwards, despite being a young August-born student, I ended up in a higher class together with a few others. It was called a transitional class at the time. This was why I could take a so-called CITO test, the Dutch SAT, in my second to last year, the current group 7. That resulted in the maximum score of 550 points, just like a year later in my final year when it was ‘for real’. I was proud of that, but also frustrated by the few mistakes I had made. That kept nagging. It did pave the way to go to the very well-regarded Lorentz Lyceum in Eindhoven.
Secundary education
There the freedom to follow my interests completely disappeared and that definitely affected my results. The school was very competitive and emotionally cold at the time. Exactly what didn't suit me. On top of that in my third year my mother died, which completely shattered the ground under my feet. Obviously this had a major impact on my results. There was no support at all from school during this intense period and at the end of the year I was given the choice: to spend an extra year in the 3rd class of the Gymnasium or proceed to the 4th class of the Atheneum. I chose the latter.
For me, the sobering conclusion of that step was that I was not as smart as I thought I was. In retrospect, it's nonsense, of course, but that's how it felt. I finished the rest of my secondary school years with largely unremarkable results without significant effort. At no point did I have to learn how to study. I only started working for tests at the very last minute. Often only during the break beforehand. At least then the pressure was high enough for me to concentrate and to pose a motivating challenge for me. Later I understood that in this way I evoked a hyperfocus within myself that more gifted people seem to posses.
A giftedness reflection in retrospect: it was at the Lorentz Lyceum that I was surrounded by the most, and the most gifted, gifted people during my life to date. I had so many smart class- and school mates that their level of intellectual functioning for a long time would be my base line expectancy (or perhaps hope?) for people. I honestly thought that that was normal. You could discuss a wide variety of subjects without having to explain every minute detail. And the majority was pretty fast mentally. Being among equals in this respect definitely is a big plus in my book.
I did peak result wise in my second to last year. I felt good about myself and had an ideal buddy to hang out with in a certain classmate (Hi Edwin!). We motivated each other to work quickly and well. Mathematics in particular became a pleasure. During that time I learned that I am not a solo player, nor a real team player, but above all a duo player. By sparring with an equal partner, I get the best out of myself and I also know how to help others excel. Something that I would later turn into my profession.
A good example from my school years that taught me a lot about how difficult it sometimes can be to be gifted was my Dutch oral exam.
After the book 'The Tears of the Acacias' by the great Dutch author W.F. Hermans hit me like a ton of bricks in the most positive sense, I started reading a lot more of him. Unfortunately, you were officially not allowed to have two books by the same author on your mandatory reading list. However, after some negotiating we agreed that I could create a WFH-centric book list. However, the teacher demanded that I delve deeper into the connections between the books and the writer himself. I went all out for that and ultimately managed to say more about the books, the author and Creative Nihilism than the teachers themselves. My grade? A measly 7 out of 10. I can still see the sour face of one of the two in front of me. Standing out does not necessarily make you popular in the Netherlands, as ironically W.F. Hermans himself had also experienced and which led him to move to Paris and Brussels.
Years later, by chance, I was in Berlin when an evening lecture on Dutch studies was dedicated to Hermans at the Freie Universität. I went there with fellow Hermans enthusiast Vincent Campman. Although univited, we were welcome and had a wonderful evening. Free flowing discussion, shared passion, depth, analysis and ample room for all attendees and viewpoints. Exactly what academic education should be, but what I did not find during my own years at university.
University
I really had no idea what to study. With my Atheneum-B I had a wide choice, but nothing really appealed to me. Ultimately, I started doing what so many of my generation did: Economics at Erasmus University in Rotterdam. Full of expectations, I went to Rotterdam at the age of just 17 and I immediately liked living by myself in flat which was specially made for students. However, during my propaedeutic year I discovered that thinking for myself was not really the intention of academic ecudation. Not even at the university whose creed is Cedo Nulli ('I'm not inferior to anyone'). At least at the time it wasn’t.
For the Introduction to Philosophy course, a paper had to be written based on certain literature. I sat down, formulated my own thoughts and wrote a paper. That was clearly not the intention. I received an unsubstantiated 6/10 for my piece, which was checked by student assistants (not the professor), while fellow students who provided a mere summary of the literature scored a 7 or higher. I deserved more for the effort alone.
Later that year I had a run-in with a bully teaching Macroeconomics. The concept of fractional banking for creating money seemed fragile and irresponsibly risky to me. I couldn't imagine that it seriously worked like that, that no one would have noticed that this was asking for big problems as chickens always come home to roost. His response was that I did not understand the principle. How could I be so stupid. This was of course well before the banking crisis of 2008. After this incident, I was internally done with my studies.
Even during my university period I did not have to learn how to study. I attended as few lectures as possible and went my own way. Mainly a lot of talking, reading (non-fiction), moderate partying and listening to music. It wasn't until just before exams that I opened my books and got to work. It is clear that my results were therefore not brilliant. The highlight was passing the Financing and Investment exam, which was so poorly made by the students that it even made it into a national newspaper. I was one of the thirty…
It was at university that my feeling of being fundamentally different from others was greatest. Bigger than at my primary and secondary school, while I was undoubtedly surrounded by smart people (but not at the same level as on the Lorentz Lyceum) who seemed to be on clear life paths. Afterwards I understood that it had more to do with the characterological side of giftedness than with IQ. For me anyway.
For many of my fellow students, a job at a multinational such as Shell, ABN Amro, Unilever or one of the leading consultancy firms was the big ambition. I didn't share that with them. Even now I actually had no idea what I really wanted to do. Most jobs seemed very boring to me. I did work for a small consultancy firm before finishing my studies, I worked in Rotterdam and The Hague for some 2-2,5 years in total, but despite great colleagues I didn’t feel the urge to return there after getting my degree.
In the meantime the economy took a downturn, unemployment was high and my girlfriend at the time came across an advertisement from the Ministry of Economic Affairs and I thought "Ah well, I'll write an application letter. Let's see what happens." This was my first job application after graduating and I was promptly hired. But not before I had undergone an extensive assessment at the Rijks Psychologische Dienst (RPD Advies or National Psychological Institute). An obligation for future civil servants with an academic degree.
Assessment
The assessment which included an intelligence test took a whole day and took place at RPD Advies in The Hague. The assessor was a Mr. Hardenberg, an older test psychologist nearing the end of his career. I was really looking forward to it and was able to work in hyper focus all day. The result was impressive: I completed one subtest within time and another exactly when the time expired. Something that really shouldn't have been possible according to the assessor.
I also eased through the other parts of the assessment and apparently I didn’t make too many mistakes either. As far as intelligence was concerned, according to Mr. Hardenberg I scored the highest score he had seen in his 30-year career with the RPD. His judgement was: uitmuntend (meaning something like excellent, sublime or superb), with an IQ north of 145 (the test wasn’t suited to determine the exact number).
Compared to the academic norm group, my worst subtest score was still in the top 5%. My best subtests were among the absolute best scores recorded. He spoke equally highly about the other assessment components (Social Behavior, Expression Skills, Stability and Work Attitude). The fact that my profile was so harmoniously high across the board was a revelation to him. To me it was rather baffling. I honestly didn't expect this given my grades in school and at university.
The assessment elicited Mr. Hardenberg's statement: "Mr. Van Mulligen, with your capabilities you can become whatever you want." I didn't really know what to make of that statement. In any case, it ensured that I was hired at Economic Affairs and that was a bonus. That experience was not a complete success, however. Despite good reviews and great colleagues, I later developed a bore-out. The understimulation and the feeling of being completely out of place became too painful to tolerate any longer.
Inner unrest and demotivation led me to take a full career assessment on my own initiative in Leerdam with a former Royal Dutch Shell assessor. I now hoped to gain clarity about what kind of work and working environment would specifically suit me. The outcome was virtually identical to that of the previous assessment. This time I was told that "if you stay at Economic Affairs, you will definitely become Secretary-General." For me, a horrifying scenario that contributed to my decision to leave. The only useful new information I received was that my profile would be a great fit for a consultant type role.
The enthusiasm that both assessors had towards my person did not resonate internally at all. It's not something to be jealous of. Because the paradox teaches that when everything is possible, usually nothing is. And how in Aeon's name do you find your place in a world when you are so far removed from the norm.
a curse
I could write a book about the downside of being gifted, the curse, but that goes too far for this blog. When I look back on my journey to the here and now, the most important negative aspects apart from the obvious boredom have been: irritation, frustration and loneliness. I have deliberately placed them in order of increasing impact for me. Irritation sticks to the outside of you, but frustration and certainly loneliness deeply impact the very core of your being.
Irritation
I am extremely sensitive to stimuli, something that makes me susceptible to annoyance and irritation. I mentioned before the labels on my clothes as a child. But an itchy turtleneck or shoes that just don't quite fit perfectly are also issues that demand my attention to such an extent that they first have to be resolved before I can continue. But there's more. Some examples:
Loud and shrill noises. Uninspired music made purely for money. Logically inconsistent models. Stacks that you can tell are going to fall over. Writers who pump up a single insight into a 240-page book filled with fluff. Parking cars and bicycles in such a way that they hinder others. Litter. News programs full of opinions. Advertising, marketing and influencer nonsense. Intellectual laziness of screenwriters. False sentiment. Narcissists. Ideologists. Loudly displayed stupidity. Infatuation with royal families, actors, athletes and politicians. Ugly Belgian houses...
Do I have to continue? I think it's the downside of having a very sensitive nervous system. Seriously, it is really no fun to be so trigger-happy in a stimulus-rich society. But over the years, I became more and more tired of allowing my peace of mind to be affected by things over which I have little influence over in the first place. The following insight has helped me enormously:
“Getting annoyed means losing your precious energy and peace of mind to the (perceived) shortcomings of others. This is to your own detriment and won’t improve the way they function anyhow.”
I also started thinking about what my irritations had to say about myself, because then I could possibly make some adjustments. They told me that I attach great importance to integrity, authenticity, sincerity, depth, originality, maturity, respect and care. Things that I have not been able, nor willing, to really make any concessions on, even though that would have made my life that much easier.
My strategy for dealing with my irritations is that I try to set a good example as much as possible and at the same time shield myself from major annoyances. As Dutch group Doe Maar already sang, "there is a switch on your TV". The image I use for my coping style is that of a cell membrane. Permeable to what nourishes you, closed to what is harmful. A semi-permeable lifestyle so to speak.😉
It is important for me to stay connected to my environment. The majority of people is of good will and cutting me off from them would only make me less happy. I simply like people too much for that. In this context, the second best move of my life is moving to a small wooded village in De Kempen region. The people and environment fit me like a glove. Friendly people. It is not without reason that the expression 'The contented man' comes from here.
The topic of irritation would not be complete without talking about mental speed. When this is high, as it is in my case, irritation about the relative mental slowness in others is always right around the corner. Switching quickly, abstracting, combining, analyzing and concluding is what I like. Preferably without any surrounding nonsense. Straight to the heart of the matter, do my thing, and then move on. In the past, when I was forced to operate below my processing speed, it irritated me immensely. That was at the expense of my sharpness and I experienced it as a valuable loss of time. Then I would quickly be done with the subject or person and my thoughts would wander off. In general, irritation and boredom with the mundane, which is so evidently a drawback of being gifted that I didn’t devote a separate paragraph to it, tend to overlap.
“In many classrooms and workplaces being gifted is like using a sports car for taxi rides to the airport. That’s not what it’s built for. You won’t develop enough speed to create the necessary downforce to keep you glued to the road.
This is a paradox of giftedness:
The gifted only become grounded at speeds where others lose their grip.”
The meetings at the Ministry of Economic Affairs therefore presented a major challenge for me. I regularly had to fight against sleepiness. Literally. In addition, this kind of policy work involves matters such as 'nudging', 'testing the waters' and 'bargaining’. The terms alone were anathema to me. The delay it gave to processes, as well. Of course I understand that that's just how it works, but it just didn't suit me. I loved, and love, working in a concentrated, fast and solution-oriented manner and then being free to persue other things. My decision to leave the ministry was therefore a good one. The role of consultant did indeed suit me better. Times of crisis and intensity are also more my thing than times of going concern.
It may sound paradoxical, but for me this has nothing to do with impatience. Under certain circumstances I can have a lot of patience. In addition, growing older has the advantage that it becomes easier to accept that people are the way they are. With all their quirks & features. When it comes to the really important things in life, love & happiness and death & sadness, we are all equal. In addition, I cannot expect someone else to go faster than he or she is able to do, so it is my responsibility (and yes, predicament) to slow down and speak relateable language. So be it. By the way, accepting others as they are, first requires accepting yourself as you are. And that's not always easy.
Frustration
In the early 2000s, I taught a Stress Management & Organizational Health master’s course at the Benelux University Center. I had given this module the title 'Dehumanization of Society' and it dealt with the social (health and stress wise) impact of the combination of (information)technology, media, neoliberalism and globalization. That resulted in some sceptic looks. Surely this was an exaggeration: “Developments wouldn't go that fast and in that direction, now would they?” However, when I now open the syllabus again and look at where humanity stands right now, I was pretty accurate.
Being able to predict well, or simply connecting the dots looking forward in life, is something that more gifted people know how to do well. During my studies, we sometimes watched Wheel of Fortune in the dorm room, and more than once I guessed the answer before even a single letter was visible. This was not a form of clairvoyance, but just an educated guess.
To recognize patterns I only need a few points and little time. The problem is that not everyone is able to do that. Most people only start to see the big picture when there is only a single dot that still needs to be connected. The consequence is that you will not be believed if you tell people too early what you see coming. Not even when it is in the interests of those people themselves. This frustration is also known as the Curse of Cassandra.
“In real life A-students always end up working for C-students.”
During my high school years, I thought that the smartest would achieve the most in society. I have since learned that this is not the case and that Robert Kyosaki is right. In this respect, the Law of Diminishing Returns applies to IQ. A higher IQ provides many societal benefits, but this effect reaches its zenith at around 130 points (educated guess alert!), after which it decreases considerably. Especially if you are more of a generalist than a specialist with an in-demand expertise.
To be successful in society, executive functions and self-confidence are usually more important than the content and quality you deliver. And as Dutch entrepreneur Marcel Boekhoorn likes to say, "The mass brings you the cash." Something that I, and many content-driven gifted people like me, am not very much at ease with. We do not belong to the crowd and are regularly plagued by doubt. Is what I do really good enough and am I good enough myself?
Without a doubt it is certainly frustrating to see how others sell their services with great aplomb and success, while you are having a hard time with what you consider to be a more qualitative offer. Perfectionism and the ability to see clearly in detail inevitably lead to (self)doubt, which is not conducive to successfully marketing your idea, product or service. The yardstick you measure yourself against is so high that it can be paralyzing. You don't proceed or sometimes don't even start things, because you know that they can never live up to the ideal you have in mind. Bertrand Russell's quote speaks volumes in this regard.
Doubt has bothered me for a long time. Offerings for the masses are indeed what brings home the cash and for me the conclusion after many frustrating years is: become a niche player. Working (internationally) with gifted professionals is such a niche for me. The mutual recognition and understanding helps enormously.
For me, the greatest frustration of being gifted is that my potential has only been realized to a very limited extent. Career wise, I should have achieved much more than I did, I should have been able to play the piano much better than I can now, I should have been fluent in many more languages, etc. That's what I think anyway. In this sense, having a single distinct talent is a lot more practical than having an above-average talent for many things. Especially around middle age, the reality that much of your potential will always remain unrealized becomes downright painful. You simply no longer have enough time and energy left for realization. You also need the benefit of benevolent times to realize some specific things.
I once helped an older stuck multi-talent. To get him moving again, I guided him through a grieving process. Letting him say goodbye to what could have been, but was not. In order to then be able to look at what was still possible in the resulting time and space. That process has brought him peace of mind and renewed energy. And me too.
Loneliness
There is a simple litmus test for determining giftedness: are you a fan of House MD or not? 😉 An incredibly good and layered hospital series about the very gifted, albeit socially rather maladjusted, main character Gregory House; a role tailor-made for gifted multi-talented Hugh Laurie. I've always been a fan, but especially since the episode Ignorance is bliss.
This episode is about a bicycle courier who is admitted to hospital. It turns out to be a (former) genius who was so hampered by his intelligence that he medicalized himself more stupidly. To finally be able to be happy, with a loving relationship. The video clip below shows it better than I can tell it.
In a diluted form, this man's dilemma is recognizable to me, although robotripping would never be an option for me to consider. Now I certainly don't emulate him, because his example is far too extreme for that, I am not nearly intelligent enough and I am defined by much more than just my intelligence. Mensa membership is not for me and I certainly don't draw flux capacitors in my spare time. For me the determining factor is consciousness. I am aware of myself and my surroundings at all times, participating and spectating are intertwined in me. This makes me see things from multiple points of view simultaneously and that gives a feeling of distance from people who are more singularly present in the here and now, people who mainly 'participate'. The fact that many cannot imagine that something like this even exists and can be painful can be found in the comments below the video. Proving the whole point of the episode, ironically enough.
The concept of ‘a spiritual being having a human experience’ is a tangible reality for me. This, more than my intelligence, is what often made me feel so lonely. And what made me jealous of people who seemed to be able to just live their lives. Ignorance has long seemed like pure bliss to me. A glass of Italian wine certainly gave me an inkling of what that would be like. Thankfully I’m not of the easily addicted kind, otherwise...
Also, even, or perhaps especially, as a spiritual being having a human experience it is vital to be seen. To be recognized and acknowledged. To get yourself reflected back through the circumstances and people around you. I already mentioned my second best move in life. My best move in this regard is definitely my partner. She is just as responsible and aware as I am. When I have to choose between being happy or being right, I choose happiness without hesitation. My feeling of loneliness is definitely a thing of the past.
Berlin, November 1989: together with Vincent at the Potsdamer Platz.
My story about loneliness as the downside of giftedness would not be complete without mentioning my best friend Vincent Campman. His presence in my life has made my sense of loneliness manageable. He is at least as intelligent as I am and from day one, about 40 years ago, there was mutual recognition. Our contact has always been extremely intensive, even though he lives abroad for decades now. We can express the full scope of our interests to one another. Also, he is the only person with whom I do not have to hold anything back, slow down, explain myself or dumb down the message. With no one have I laughed as much, experienced so many special things and had deep conversations as with him. Especially in Berlin, which started in 1989. Experiencing the stellar rise of Kruder+Dorfmeister and Jazzanova in the Berlin clubs together firsthand was quite something. Thank you Vincent for your continued presence in my life. On to the next 40 years and to whatever may lay beyond that.
Because we fully understand each other, we can switch, combine and freely associate very quickly. When others saw us in action, it was as if they saw water burning. Our weekly phone calls made the loneliness bearable. A weekly shot of recognition and confirmation that allowed us both to cope with the daily grind of the Farmer’s World.
Professionally, I have been able to alleviate loneliness by seeking collaboration with my gifted colleagues and independent thinkers & competent doers Kim Castenmiller and Paul de Bruijn. My advice for those who do not have such people in their environment, keep looking and once you have found them, keep investing in the relationship.
a blessing
Humor
Can you enjoy your giftedness? In my case, the answer to that question is a resounding yes. A lot. Ever since I was young, I have seen the humor in a lot of what happens around me and even in what didn’t happen. Humor, which is different from just having fun or laughing a lot out of habit, is indispensable to me. It makes my life more lively and has helped me enormously to deal with less pleasant events.
From my high school days I can remember that I regularly saw things happening in my mind's eye that would greatly improve the boring setting. Often with an absurdist character. A bit along the lines of "if x-or-y happened now, that would be great." Then I had to laugh internally, often up to the point of having trouble containing myself. Having an eye for alternative scenarios and unlikely events is certainly what lies behind this.
In his book The Art of Creation, Arthur Koestler examined the concept of humor in depth and came up with the picture shown. This is completely in line with my experience. Too tempting not to explain this further here. If I ever give a lecture about giftedness, I might however do so based on this provocative sketch by Koefnoen (alert: not for the easily offended). A sketch that also shows the art of omission. Always nice when there is room left for you to fill in the blanks yourself.
My sense of humor not only helps me myself, it also plays an important role in my work to keep the sometimes heavy issues easy to digest. Being able to laugh about an intense experience is a sign that it can be fully integrated. The picture is complete. Nothing can dispel the darkness as well as the laughter that rounds off a process of (self)reflection.
Associative thinking
Closely related to humor is associative thinking. The ability to do this characterizes me very much. My mind is frequently associating and I enjoy that a lot. Because I have read and otherwise absorbed a lot in my life, I have a large reservoir of knowledge to associate with. Associations with matters not directly related to the subject are a strength that I use in brainstorming and development sessions. I’ve regularly participated in public brainstorming sessions, such as a CERN Hackathon on the High Tech Campus, purely for my pleasure.
Associative thinking not only helps me to come up with new ideas that will hopefully be useful to others, but also to be able to capture complex customer dilemma’s with one image in my daily work. To be honest, I have to say that the developing an idea into a concrete product or even a company does not really interest me. Generating exciting ideas, developing a certain vision and advising or sparring at regular intervals during the follow-up suits me better.
awareness
What does continue to fascinate me is analyzing matters at the highest level of abstraction, that of consciousness, of pure thought. Like many with me, I am driven by the question to which the answer is 42. What goes on behind the scenes is much more interesting to me than the issue at hand. The meaning of things, the why question, is ultimately the highest level at which you can approach a problem. When you find the correct interpretation at the highest level, solving the issue itself is either no longer necessary or a matter of simple elaboration. When the click in consciousness is there, the underlying pattern is fundamentally and permanently rearranged. I can feel when something like this happens. It's what Christopher Fuchs, the founder of QBism, calls it collapsing the wave function by updating your beliefs. I purposefully use the word 'feeling' here, because this perception is not a mental phenomenon. I really experience having this ability as a gift.
Intuitive grasp
Another gift that I really enjoy is that of the intuitive grasp. Knowing intuitively how something works. Sometimes even whether something is true or not, because truth is considerably less subjective than most people think. For that intuitive grasp, I don't necessarily have to understand the intermediate steps, the insight is just there all of a sudden. This allows me to extract the essence from things of which I do not know or understand the finer points. Like Q(uantum)B(ayesian)ism mentioned above. When I have found what I am looking for, the details, the intermediate steps, no longer interest me. That makes me unsuitable for science as it is usually practiced: reductionist, linear and too much left-brain driven. Explaining how I arrive at a certain insight is not always easy for me. But not being in school anymore I’m not bothered by that. QBism is the most correct for me and I’m perfectly happy to leave it at that. I have no interest whatsoever in convincing others of that.
SupergeneralisM
I also experience it as a blessing that, as a kind of super generalist, I am able to connect with people from very different backgrounds and professional fields. From humanities, exact- to social sciences, but also with a CEO, artist, top athlete, shaman, sufi or kabbalist and importantly the people next door. In my work this is a big plus. In order to be able to develop and advise people at a higher level, you must be able to understand their work and empathize with their world. A generic advisor or coach will always falls short in this respect. I have often guided gifted people who were relieved and happy that there was finally someone who understood what they were talking about, could understand from their own experience how they felt and could clearly express what they were thinking but had a hard time formulating themselves. No diploma or certificate, often indicating nothing more than that you’re able to follow protocols and jump through desired hoops, can compete with that.
Years ago I had the pleasure of giving a lecture at the International Institute of Biophysics in Neuss. There I spoke extensively with the biophysicist Fritz-Albert Popp about the essence of health from an energetic perspective: coherence. Few people have made me think as much as this visionary and he was happy that someone really understood what he was about. He certainly had the gift of suddenly seeing how something worked, but was sometimes a bit hasty in his evidence, which made him not without controversy from a scientific point of view. This is often the fate of true innovators. Being able to have these kinds of conversations has enriched my life enormously.
memory
I benefit greatly from my memory. Remembering comes naturally, although my memory has become more selective over the years. Now it depends more on whether something interests me or not. This was of course very useful at school and later at university, but it is just as pleasant in social interactions. When you remember people's personal matters and refer to them when you meet again, it is often a pleasant surprise for the other person. Many of my colleagues write down notebooks during, or immediately after, conversations with clients. I tried that, thought I should do that because it was the professional thing to do, but I never got it ingrained. The reason is that I like to pay my full attention during conversations and that I can trust that when I see my conversation partner(s) again, the information simply is there again. The times in my life I've been told "Huh, you remember all that?!" or "I'm jealous of your memory" are many.
For me it is as if files automatically come back online in a certain setting or with a certain person. I am now convinced that your memory is not located in your brain, but in an information field around you that is accessed via your brain. That's how I experience it anyway.
intense enjoyment
Saving the best for last... The greatest blessing that giftedness brings is the ability to enjoy intensely. And that extends to literally all areas of life. It is the positive side of the combination of sensitivity, intensity and complexity. There is so much to enjoy in life, but you have to notice it. That's where it starts. In addition, it is also a matter of resolution, the amount of information/details that you can extract from something. It's as if mine is higher than average. For example, I have attended many wine tastings in my life and noticed that the richness and differences that I could taste were not observed by everyone. The same goes for high-end audio equipment, where small tweaks can lead to a completely different listening experience. But of course I also enjoy my children when they are absorbed in their play, walk through the sprinkler in the garden, surprise me with a statement, score a goal with their 'wrong' leg or achieve something they have worked hard for. Things like that touch me deeply and make me very happy.
The intensity with which I experience something like this, I absorb the experience, as it were, means that I become saturated faster than anyone else. Mass events and long sessions of anything are not for me. I will always prefer short/little/quality over long/lot/quantity. But I never saw that as a problem. The hunt for the original and unique, no matter how small, is much more satisfying to me.
For example, I once came across a slim book by J. Ruth Gendler, The Book of Qualities. A veritable hunting trophy. In it she describes qualities as persons with a brief sketch of the situation. That alone is a brilliant thought. But how she then manages to capture the core of a quality with just a few strokes of her pen is in a class of its own. You might shake your head in disbelief, but I am really touched by this. Pure wisdom wrapped in an evocative aphorism. After consuming one or two of such qualities, I am saturated. My soul feels nourished.
“I recall when I was small, how I spent my days alone,
The busy world was not for me, so I went and found my own.”
Previously I talked about the loneliness that I have experienced so often and for so long. Just like everyone else, it is important for me to feel connected, to know that I am not alone in how I experience the world. I had a major breakthrough in this area during my studies in Rotterdam. Through Henri, Vincent's brother, I came into contact with Steely Dan's album Can't buy a thrill. That was such a relief to hear. Music that was really well composed and really appealed to me. Although I didn't know exactly why at the time. At the Donner bookstore (does it still exist?) I looked for other Steely Dan albums. I ended up with The Royal Scam and the CD was put on for me to listen to. That's how it was back then, at a counter with headphones on your ears. I will never forget that experience. I was blown away and literally moved to tears, that's how much this music resonated with me. It made me feel like if you could draw music from my DNA, it would sound like this. I listened in disbelief. I was, and still am, extremely happy that there were people who could make this at all. Kudos to Donald Fagen and Walter Becker for that.
What appeals to me about Steely Dan's music is that beneath a sometimes simple first impression, there is a world of depth, complexity and harmony. Their music is extremely layered, there is a lot to enjoy. Many lines are woven together into a coherent whole. Including cryptic texts full of acerbic wit. The craftsmanship is also at an all-time high, both in terms of composition and arrangements and in terms of execution. Complex harmony, or is it harmonic complexity 😉, is what characterizes their music.
A good example of this is the song Josie, a catchy and deceptively simple sounding song, which contains more chords than in the complete works of most artists. In the deconstruction video below, Donald Fagen, the master himself, talks about the structure and the chords used. Without exaggerating, years have passed in which I listened to this song every day. And I still get excited about the chord sequence from 01:30 min.
If you want to hear the song as a whole, you will find a live performance here with the exceptionally cool, but sadly recently deceased Walter Becker on guitar.
This statement by Fagen towards the end of the video says a lot about what, for me, distinguishes being gifted from being highly intelligent. Something can be oh so cleverly put together, but it doesn't do anything for me ‘if it ain't funky’. You have to be able to feel it. Music should give you energy and a good vibe, make you happy. Just as giftedness is about more than just intellect, clever abstraction or sharp insight.
“A lot has to do with feel...”
“Intelligence is soulless without (he)art.”
For me, being gifted is an overarching experience that connects head, heart and hands. Whether you want to or not. Ultimately, the challenge for every gifted person is to unite within yourself, literally within your body, the full scope and complexity of who you are into a coherent whole. Integration of your complete Self. But that’s not easy. It took me about 30 years to arrive at that point, but: I've found my Home at Last.
Dirk Anton van Mulligen